Black Black Heart
by DarkMoon03
Summary: Life had been perfect for Seungri. TOP/Seungri, Seungri/Jiyong, GTOP, Seungri/Everybody.
1. Chapter 1

The slightest touch to my skin hurt, the pain was excruciating, i felt everything they were doing to me, and although i was not awake i still felt them, I heard them. But i could not scream, could not move and i didn't know why, what was i doing before? My car...my car broke down and i was waiting for someone to drive by and ask them for help or a ride to a nearby town. Then the black car came, a small car enough for four or five people, they stopped. I asked for help, i saw one of them, his eyes fierce and dark, high cheekbones, dark hair that covered his right eye. He didn't say anything, but the one on the passenger seat was talking to me, he asked what happened, his hair was impossible to forget, bright blonde, nearly white. They got out of the car, just two of them, the smaller one, the one that talked offered me a bottle of water and then nothing. Just black.

I fluttered my eyes open, but saw nothing. Nothing at all, just black. My breath fastened, i felt sweaty and did not know why, what if they raped me and wanted to dump me in some lake? I was at the edge of hysteria, what the heck happened to me? I saw a dark figure coming towards me.

"Ji, i thought he was going to be out for a while." said a low husky voice, dull in a way. I heard light footsteps coming, they somehow sounded cheerful. "It has been a while Tabi" said the other voice, it was beside me. "What do you want from me?" i managed to choke out, Ji or whoever it was chuckled. "You're in heaven" he said, in a innocent tone. I was not in heaven, heaven was a place i could see and be happy in. But i wasn't, i was laying on something cold and i was frightened. I struggled, but it seemed like i was tied to something.

"Lee Seunghyun." he said, i think he was reading something. "That's what it says on your ID" he continued, slowly, my vision was becoming clearer. I saw his white-blonde hair, but his face was still blurry. "That's too complicated, i don't want to mix you two" he said.

"Seungri?" my heart stopped.

How did he know what people called me, my friends and family. Was he stalking me? Did i know him from somewhere? I waited impatiently for my vision to be clear. And it was, his was was not familiar, i didn't know him. "How did you know..?" i stopped mid-sentence, and waited for them to talk, "I know you, I've seen you in my dreams, Seungri" he said, caressing the side of my face. I looked at him in horror, i looked around. It looked filthy, like it wasn't cleaned in years. "We're in the basement" he whispered. I was tied to a silver bed thing, like those things that doctors use to examine dead bodies.

I tried to sit up, "Get me off of this thing!!" i yelled, panicking. Ji backed away, his face dark. "Tabi, give him a lesson, he has to learn to obey me" he said, his voice cold. I looked at Tabi, he smirked but it disappeared as soon it was there. He came towards me, he roughly pulled at my pants, ripping them off, along with my underwear, i felt my throat close, preventing me from screaming. I felt cold.

I looked at Ji in horror, "No, no, no. Please I won't do it again, please" i begged, the words rushing out. He was smiling, "You have to learn" he said, sitting at the head part of this bed thing. "Hold his arms" said Tabi, his low voice sent shivers down my spine. Ji held my wrists, tightly. The strap that held me down was off, Tabi took it off. He tied my ankles at the sides of the bed. Tears blinded me, blurring almost everything from my sight. Tabi, grabbed my thigh tightly, spreading my legs apart, at this point i began to sob.

"This is so messed up" i whispered.

He unbuckled his belt, his pants falling down to his ankles. He smirked as he positioned himself. And without a warning he entered, i let out a cry. It hurt, my legs were slightly shaking. "Please, stop" i sobbed. Tabi, Seunghyun started to move, he kept his eyes on me, i arched my back, making Ji drop his grip on my right wrist. I placed it on Seunghyun's chest, trying to push him but it did no good. "Ugh...." i let out a small moan of pain, he smirked again, his eyes were taunting me. He moved a little faster, "Ji, let go of my hand" i breathed out, he did, i placed the other hand on his chest and tried my best to push him away, it was the drugs that were making me so weak. He moved faster and harder. "No!" i said, i felt my heart explode with shame. I felt dirty. He began to pump my member rhythmically, i was panting, out of breath because of the crying and the unwanted pleasure. Unknowingly, i placed my hands on his shoulders. I gave up, i let him do it. It was probably going to be over in a few minutes anyway. Jiyong caressed my face again, his fingers tracing along my tears. "So beautiful" he murmured, Seunghyun let out a quiet grunt as he released himself. I gasped, releasing myself too, onto his shirt. It didn't seem to bother him, he just took it off and threw it aside. I felt like puking.

I looked at Ji, his eyes tracing along my jawline, i realized i was free. I sat up, wincing. I took my pants that were on the floor and put them on, not meeting anyone's eyes. "Do we understand each other now?" said Ji, looking at me with his big brown eyes. I nodded, hugging myself. I scratched at my arms, i felt disgusting. "Now lay back down and let me do what i have to do" he demanded, i obeyed and did what i was told to do. I lay on the metal bed. "Now let me finish your tattoo" he muttered, mostly to himself but i caught it. I quickly sat up. "A tattoo?" i said anxiously, he nodded happily. I lay back down, it was just a tattoo, it was just a tattoo. I kept repeating in my head. He took my arm, pulling the sleeve up. I looked at it, on the inner side of my arm there was a marking. I've never seen it before.

He took the needle that was on the counter beside the bed. He burned it with a lighter, i felt my heart shake, "The marking shows that you belong to me" he said, "So that the other Seekers don't take you from me" he added, what on earth was he talking about? "A seeker is someone like me, taking beautiful beings and making them mine. It's like a cult, an underground world" he explained, dipping the needle in ink. He was a freak, an insane piece of shit. I gave him a disgusted look. He sent me a warning look. "Be careful" he growled. I kept my eyes to the ceiling, ignoring the needle going in and out of my skin. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

I closed my eyes, tiredness was creeping in, slowly pushing me into slumber. I hoped i was never going to wake up again.

Next thing i knew i was in someone's arms, probably Seunghyun because by the looks of it Ji was too skinny to lift me. I opened my eyes, and i was right, it was Seunghyun who was carrying me, i panicked, "Let go of me" i said, nearly growled, straightening my back. He placed me on my feet. I looked around, it was white, the walls, furniture, the rug. And glass. It was decent looking, clean and simple. "Where are we?" my voice sounded strange in my ears. Ji suddenly appeared in front of me, "My house" he said, smiling at me. I stood next to him, avoiding standing next to Seunghyun. Seunghyun let out a "humph" and walked into the hallway and into a room. "I'm Jiyong by the way," said Jiyong, smiling at me, "you can go home, to where ever you live but you come when i tell you to. If you don't we will look for you and you'll get the same treatment you got today and you are going to go in the cage for a couple of days" he explained, the words not quite sinking into my mind, what the heck did he think he was? I was not some dog he could tell fetch and sit. "Telling the cops won't work, Seunghyun's father was a cop, i killed him because he didn't want me and Seunghyun to be together, my father is a cop, some of the cops are Seekers too. Don't try telling anyone else, I'll just kill them and kill the people they talked to and so on and so forth" he said, smirking, folding his arms across his chest. The lump in my throat was impossible to swallow "But it's against the law to keep a slave" i said, trying to reason with him. It was a stupid thing to do, he was insane nothing was going to change his mind. "Rules are meant to be broken" he said, through his teeth, "Don't push it" he warned. "I'm being nice, you can go run along and do what you do but you come back when i tell you to" he said, made it clear. I nodded once, "Where are my keys?" i asked, looking at his face. "We left your car, I'll let you borrow mine" he said, throwing me his keys. I caught them, i ran out of the house and into the little black car. And drove away, fast.

* * *

I wished that everything the night before was a dream, i wished that none of it was real. I prayed but the soreness i felt proved that it was real, the sting on my inner arm proved it was real. And the car keys that were still in my hand proved that it was real. I unwillingly opened my eyes, my head ached and my eyes were trying to adjust to the brightness of my room, i forgot to close the curtains last night. I realized how sticky my skin felt, i shuddered, remembering the events that the night before happened. I scratched at my arms again, wanting to scratch away the disgusting feeling. "SEUNGRI! Where the hell were you last night?!?" i heard my mothers voice as she came into my room. Her hands resting on her hips, her foot tapping loudly against the floor. I slowly looked up at her face, her eyes burning with fury. "My car broke down..." i whispered "Whose black car is that?" she demanded. I kept my head low, not wanting her to see me grimace. "Jiyong" i said thickly, trying to push the lump in my throat down. "Who the fuck is Jiyong? What relations do you have with him?".

"He's my friend mom, he lives on the quiet side of the city" i said, the quiet side was her favourite. She stood there for a while, probably trying to decide whether to punish me or not. She sighed, she'd forgiven me. "Why are you bleeding?" she asked, staring at my arm, i looked at it. The tattoo was bleeding? "Nothing, it's nothing. I probably scratched myself at soccer practise" i lied, i was never good at lying but i was good enough to deceive my mother, or at least she pretended to. "Okay" she said, smiling at me. "Take a shower, you look filthy hon" she said as she left my room. I felt filthy too, awful, disgusting. I scratched at my skin, my neck this time, up to my chin. Maybe a shower would make me feel better.

I stood in the shower, staring into space, not really knowing if the water flowing down my face were tears or the water from shower head. I didn't really care, i was alone, i was crying and i wasn't going to show anyone, or tell anyone. I had to keep this secret, they were going to hurt my loved ones if i said one word. I scrubbed hard, hoping the disgusting sticky feeling would go away.

* * *

"Seungri, are you sick?" my mother asked one morning, i was too ashamed to look at her. "I'm fine" i murmured, pushing my cereal around the bowl. I didn't want any food in my stomach, i didn't want to puke again. She let out a sigh, she continued to eat. "Why is your skin all red?" she asked, her eyes trailing along the scratch marks on my arms "It's just a rash mom, it'll go away" i reassured her, pulling my sleeves down, she looked at me for a long time. Eventually she left, she always did. I just sat there, wondering if i should go to school or not.

In the end i decided to go, hoping my friends would cheer me up or make me feel a little better. I took Jiyong's car to school, the only transportation to school other than the city bus. That was a big no no with my mother, she was the type that thinks about a drive by, shooting random people. She worries way too much in my opinion.

My friends gave me strange looks when i got there.

"Seungri? Whose car is that?" said my friend Daesung, his smile nearly blinding me. "A friend of mine" i said, putting the keys into my pockets as i walked towards his smiling face. "Where were you last weekend?" he asked, keeping the atmosphere easy, i nearly winced. "I was...hanging out with old friends" i lied, not looking at his face. I could almost hear him frown. "Seungri.." he began. "Look, i don't want to talk about it okay? I'd rather not." i interrupted, slightly walking faster.

He didn't follow me, which i was thankful for. I wasn't in the mood for happy-go-lucky friends, in fact i wasn't in the mood for anything. I entered the school, everyone was staring at me. I wondered why.

I ignored them and continued to walk.

And then it happened, i was pushed into the boys bathroom. Someone knocked me to the ground, i didn't say anything. I looked up and was shocked by what i saw.

"Hey there! Did ya miss me?" he said, smiling evilly at me. His blond hair falling over his eyes. It was him, it was Jiyong. "What are you doing here?" i asked, my voice high. I was confused and scared. He was here with me, we were alone. I didn't know what he could do to hurt me, he had a lot of options. After all, he was creative.

"I'm here for school silly" he said, placing his skinny hands on his hips. He was smiling at me, flashing his perfect white teeth at me. "What do you want from me?" i whispered, looking down to the floor. My heart was racing, i was afraid. I felt him stare.

"Get up" he said, his voice demanding.

I did what he told me, i got up. He pushed me into one of the stalls, he locked the door behind him. He pulled me by my collar. He crashed his lips against mine. I didn't know how to react, should i push him away? Or just stay completely still till it was over? I quickly picked the second one. His skinny fingers trailed along my jawline. He tasted of cigarettes and something sweet i couldn't quite place. Like honey and lemons. I wondered what i tasted like to him. He pulled away to look at me, i felt cold the second his lips left mine. I immediately wanted more, it was like the taste of him had me craving for more. He smirked.

He got down on his knees, i only stared. He unbuckled my belt and pulled my pants down to my knees. I had to look away. I let out a shaky breath as he flicked his tongue over the head of my member. "Stop" i said, begged him. He didn't listen to me. "You're big" he whispered, i couldn't look at him. I felt the sticky feeling again, it was creeping in the back of my mind. Slowly seeping in. "Stop it" i growled this time as i pulled him up by his collar. I pushed him against the wall, he didn't flinch. "You like it rough huh Seungri?" he taunted. "I said stop it" i nearly yelled, i realized that people might hear us. He pouted, and almost immediately i felt sorry. He pushed me back, "I'm going to do it, whether you like it or not" he said, as he got down his knees again. I gulped, frightened by what he might have done to me for pushing him. Disobeying him.

"You're hard, are you turned on by me?" he taunted again, flicking his tongue over the head of my member. I let out a small moan, unwanted pleasure pulsed through me. He put my member into his mouth and i couldn't hold it in. I let out a moan.

"Seungri? Is that you?" It was Daesung. Shit, i mouthed to Jiyong. But he continued. I rolled my head backward and held back a moan, i shot a death glare at Jiyong. He only smirked. "Yeah, it's me" i said, my voice shaky. "What are you doing?" he asked, what the hell? I was in a bathroom stall what else could i be doing? "Dae...now is not a good time to talk" i said.

"Oh right, well see you in class. Don't be too late" he said, his voice full of concern. He seemed to have left. "Ji, let's not do this here" i whispered to him, afraid that there might be people inside the bathroom. He didn't even look at me, he continued to do what he was doing.

He didn't stop until i released into his mouth. I had managed to stay quiet, letting out small moans instead of loud ones. He stood up as be wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. "Let's go" he said, his voice barely a whisper. I pulled up my pants.

"Ji...I‒" my voice trailed off, he placed his arms around my neck. He pressed his lips against mine. I hesitated but placed my hands at his waist.

* * *

Everyone stared as i entered the class. "Glad you could join us Seunghyun" said Hyori, pushing her glasses back. I hated when people called me Seunghyun"I'm sorry, i was...Busy" i said, slightly bowing at her. "Whatever, go sit down" she said, sending me towards the back. I walked towards my seat, which was next to CL's. Her jaw dropped as she saw me coming her way. I sat down and placed my textbooks on the desk, i sighed. I turned to face her.

"What the heck happened to you?" she asked, her eyes trailing along my neck. I groaned. "Don't ask." i said. CL was sort of like my best friend, i knew her since kindergarten, lived next to her. "They are purple" she commented, her jaw still low. She seemed somewhat amazed and sort of disgusted.

"Are they that noticeable?" i asked, whispered. Everyone was still staring.

She nodded, as she turned her attention to the board. She wrote down what Hyori wrote on the black board.

I opened my textbook, looking for the page we were working on.

"Hey everybody, can i have your attention?" i heard a male voice say, i looked up. It was the principal.

"Everyone this is Kwon Jiyong, he's a new student" he said, as Jiyong walked in.

Everyone gasped as they looked between me and Jiyong. I felt stupid, the marks on his neck were dark as mine. Very bold and noticeable. He grinned. "Nice to meet everyone" said Jiyong, waving at everyone.

* * *

"Who is that?" he texted.

"CL" was my reply.

"I want you to fuck her".

I didn't know what to say.


	2. Chapter 2

It was like i could hear his voice say those words.

"I want you to fuck her" they repeated in my head. They didn't sink in, i refused to let them to. Not one fucking chance, i wanted to yell. Fuck no, she was an important friend. An important person in my life. I was not willing to fuck up the relationship. CL waved her hand in front of my face, "Helllloo?" she said, i ripped my gaze from my phone to her face. I nearly winced, "About Bom's party? Are you going?" she asked, i had nearly forgotten her question. It took me a while to find my voice. "I guess, why not. I'm sure i can" i whispered absentmindedly. She sat across from me at our lunch table. She raised her eyebrows. I forgot that i was at school, that i was in front of my friends. I had to act normal.

I looked around our table, Minzy, CL, Bom, Taeyang, Daesung. Dara was missing, where had she gone to? Did she go scold Thunder for not tucking in his shirt again? I looked around the cafeteria, trying to find Dara but Jiyong came into my view. Smiling his devious smile, he came towards my table.

"Hey, you guys are in my class right?" he asked politely, smiling an honest smile. CL, being her, smiled back. "Yeah, yeah. Come on sit with us" she said kindly, pointing to the chair beside me. He smiled as he sat down with his tray of food. "I'm Jiyong" he said to everyone, Taeyang smiled politely at him. "I'm Youngbae but you can call me Taeyang" he said. I shifted uncomfortably as Jiyong brushed his hand on my thigh under the table. "I'm Seungri" i said stiffly, i placed my elbows on the table. In attempt to get Jiyong to stop touching me, i had had enough of his touch for today.

"I'm CL"

"Minji"

"I'm Bom"

"Daesung"

I tried to concentrate on the math exam i had next week, tried to think about it. But i was so aware of the hand that rested on my thigh. Conversations were easily started, they spoke but i could not hear their words. I felt like i could pass out, black out and do something i would never intend on doing. Had he put some sort of evil spell on me? To make me so unaware of things? After all, i willingly fucked him in the bathroom while everyone was getting ready for class. Was he the reason behind it? I felt the urge to attack his lips once again. But i resisted. I wondered what we looked like to people, both of us covered in hickeys, we were sitting next to each other. Both of us seemed sweaty. Well at least i felt that way, i felt sticky. I felt disgusting. I wondered what new rumours were going to spread, i wondered if they were going to bother me. Probably not, nothing really bothered me anymore.

I was more than bothered by Jiyong, i was frightened by him. I feared the very air he breathed.

"How old are you Seungri?" He asked me, i avoided looking at him in the eye. "Nineteen" i replied, make up conversations with him were so weird. "You?" but i played along. "Nineteen" he lied, i could tell by the way he looked at me. "What about you CL?" he asked, turning his attention to CL. She smiled "Eighteen" she replied, she didn't really seemed to have an interest with Jiyong. But the way he dressed she must have wanted to hang around him for a while. He looked at Minzy, her short hair bouncing with her movements, she was laughing at some joke Daesung said. "And you?" he asked politely. "I'm sixteen" She grinned, happy that he took some sort of interest to her. Taeyang placed a protective arm around Bom's waist. He couldn't have been jealous right? Jiyong was only asking for ages, not phone numbers. "You?" he smiled, Taeyang seemed surprised. "Twenty one" he answered. Jiyong turned his attention to Bom. "I'm Twenty five" she said sheepishly. "And I'm Twenty!" Grinned Daesung. I saw a hint of annoyance run through Jiyong's face but covered it up with a smile before anyone could see it.

"Awesome!" he exclaimed, masking his face with a smile. He made up lies about his life, adopted by a Korean-American couple. Moving to Korea because his father got a promotion. Lies, lies and more lies. And they all believed him. I couldn't do much about it, it made me sick to my stomach. I wasn't much of a friend to them. I felt bad. His hand was still rested on my thigh, slowly moving up.

I hadn't payed much attention to what was going on, i just saw Dara standing beside me in the corner of my eye. She saw Jiyong's hand, he quickly moved it. Not bothering to look at her. But i did, she gave me a look and raised her eyebrows. "Seungri did you have a rough night?" she smirked, i glared at her. CL turned her attention to me, "You never told me who the girl was" she said, smiling. Gossip was her thing, she liked to know everything about everybody. I let out a nervous laugh, i felt Jiyong's hot stare on my face. "I don't remember" i said, looking down at my food. Dara scoffed. "He didn't go out last night, no girl came into our apartment." she said, placing her hands on her hips. She knew exactly how to annoy me, after all we were step-siblings. "So it must have been here in school. Who was it?" asked CL excitedly, scanning our cafeteria. It was a big school, roughly about 900 students in our school. Including the college students. "You'll never find out" i said through my teeth, i wasn't angry. I was just panicked. Dara eyed Jiyong, i could tell he was annoyed by her. He didn't like her.

Everything stood still for a moment as i realized that he was here, he was here and i wasn't safe. He could control me, i didn't want to know what sick thoughts ran through his mind when he thought of what to do with me.

"It's quite obvious who it is Ri" said Dara, folding her arms across her chest. Everyone looked at her in confusion. And in that moment i was glad that my group of friends were clueless. "It's obviously that blond!" she said, they all looked around the cafeteria, the blond girls was Jessica, and a bunch of others i didn't give a shit about. "OMG, it's Jessica!" CL screamed excitedly. I shook my head and Dara let out an annoyed scoff. Taeyang seemed to be the only person to really see who it was. He shifted uncomfortably around his chair, and avoided to look directly at me. Taeyang and i were never close, but i could see how it bothered him. I felt somewhat offended, and angry. I glared at my tray of food.

"Taeyang knows who it is" i said, looking at him. CL turned her attention to him, he gave me a hard look. "I can't tell, it's a secret" he said to CL, who groaned in frustration. He glared at me. I glared back.

"This is getting interesting" Jiyong whispered, only i could hear him. And i was sure that Dara could hear too. "Fuck! Never mind!" exclaimed Dara as she sat down on her seat. For some odd reason, she was never in a good mood, ever. In every sentence she would use the word 'fuck' in it. I guess it was just Dara, i was the first to get used to it, since we lived to together and all. I smirked, she gave up on embarrassing me. Again, i won.

Sibling wars were easily started and easily won. I won most of the time. Only because i had a lot of time on my hands and i had nothing better to do.

We had Gym. I sat by my locker in the locker room, while i waited for everyone to leave and go into the gym. Taeyang stayed behind, he seemed to have lost something in his locker or he was just finding a reason to stay behind with me, it seemed ridiculous to me. I could tell he was secretly looking at me.

"What do you want Tae?" i asked, it was a simple question. Easy to answer. He held something in his hands, to keep his fingers busy. He looked down at his hands.

"Why did you do it?" he asked, his smooth voice always bothered me.

I blinked, "I don't know what you're talking about─"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about" he said angrily. "As far as I'm concerned Tae, it does not concern you. It ain't any of your business" i answered calmly. He glared at me, "People are going to talk...and you'll be an outcast" he said, looking at me through narrowed eyes. "It doesn't matter, you're not going to tell are you?" i asked, "I mean, what would Bom think if she found out that you screwed her best friend?" i added. He glared at me. "You wouldn't" he growled.

"Of course i wouldn't." i said to him as i took off my shirt, i pushed it inside my locker. I took out my gym shirt and swear pants. "Now, do you mind? I'm trying to get dressed. Unless you want to stay and watch" i said sarcastically. He let out a disgusted sound. "Thought so" i whispered, mostly to myself. He left.

After the door slammed, i heard someone clap their hands together as if they were celebrating. "Wow, Seungri never thought you had an aggressive side. It's quite attractive actually" i heard Jiyong's voice, i narrowed my eyes at the door of my locker. "What?" i asked flatly.

"I want you to seduce Taeyang" he said, placing his skinny hands on my face. "You are so cute" he said, pursing his lips, quick to change the subject. "I'm not seducing Taeyang" i said. That was the dumbest thing I've heard all day. "Oh but you will have the urge to. You have no deadline on that one. But CL on the other hand..." he said, his eyes trailing along my face. "Actually, you have six days. But i want to have fun with you first. I'm going to change you Seungri, i want you to be like me, like Seunghyun. Less self-control and more partying." he said, grinning. I felt disgusted. I had an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Take this, it'll make you feel better" he whispered into my ear, placing a white-yellowish pill on my hand. "What is it?" i asked, feeling helpless. "They're Uppers" he said, placing one on his tongue. "Drink up" he said as he swallowed it dry. He left.

I stared at the pill, a small little voice inside of my head was telling me no but i decided not to listen to it. I popped the pill into my mouth and took a drink from my water bottle. I swallowed it, i felt it go down my throat. Was i going to alright? Was i going to be fine? I left the locker room and into the gym.

"And where have you been Seunghyun?" asked the gym teacher. And for a moment i heard his voice echo inside my head. "Bathroom" i quickly replied. I felt strange, i felt happy. I remembered learning in middle school that Uppers gave you temporary energy or some shit like that. Temporary bliss?

I straightened my back. It felt good, i hadn't really stretched my back in a while. I smiled at Jiyong for the first time, it was a short one but he saw it. No wonder why he was always so damn happy. I felt like laughing.

"I fucking love you" i whispered to Jiyong, as i walked towards him. He smiled.

"I bet you do" muttered Taeyang. The gym teacher gave him a warning look.

"All right boys, basketball time" said the teacher as he blew into his whistle. I felt cheerful. I smirked.

Basketball time ended too soon in my opinion. Everyone was gasping for air and i wanted it to continue.

School was coming to an end.

My energy was slowly being drained, was i going to pass out? I had no idea how this pill worked. Jiyong wasn't by me anymore. He left. I was alone. Like always.

I was surprised and frightened by what stood by my car. Well Jiyong's car. It was Seunghyun. Confusion and fear filled the void inside of me, he just stared. "When does school finish exactly?" he asked, his voice not completely dull this time. "Uhh...Three thirty" i answered, not really sure of what to think exactly. My high was distracting the fact that this guy was the guy who raped me. "Ah shit, i though it was two. I haven't been in school since kindergarten" he explained, his eyes scanning the building. I just blinked.

"home schooled"

I nodded. "Jiyong is hosting a high school party, or whatever the fuck. And he's inviting you. You have to arrive with uh...CL? Get her to agree to go on a date with you" he said, the way he said it, it wasn't the same as Jiyong. It was more...polite, in a way.

"Most of your class is going to be there." he said, he hovered. He stared at me, he seemed to notice the change in my mood. "Uppers?" he asked, I nodded. "Figured".


	3. Chapter 3

I parked Jiyong's car in the parking lot of our tall apartment building. I always wondered who else lived in that building. Rich people?

I was shocked at first when Mr. Park, "Sir" came into my mother's life. He seemed strange to me, alien. When my mom told me that we were going to move in with him I didn't want to. I wanted to be with my father, not some weird man with two other children, but I knew that it would never be possible, my dad was gone. I got used to it though, he wasn't so bad. But he had some strict rules, the only girl I was allowed to bring was CL. But it died down over the years. Now a days he's never around, always overseas, doing business with foreigners. I got out of the car and headed towards the entrance.

Yoseob, the security that worked at the reception noticed me, "Yo Seung!" he greeted, his shaggy hair moving along with his movements as he waved at me, I waved back. "Hey" I said. Walking to the elevator. I still felt weird. Like nothing was real, like it was a dream. I heard his annoying loud footsteps come behind me, "How was school?" he asked, I turned my head to see him, his face was smiling at mine. Yoseob couldn't come to school sometimes because of his dad's work. Sometimes he had to fill in when his dad went missing.

"It was fantastic" I answered, the sarcasm burnt the tip of my tongue. But he smiled anyway, because he's like that. He's Yoseob. "I wrote down the notes for you, I left 'em in the car. I'll give them to you later okay?" I said, looking away. I could hear his smile nearly breaking, I had disappointed him again. "You know what, it's okay. I'll just ask Doojun or something" he said, waving a goodbye, his smile never leaving his face.

I've always avoided this, this annoying feeling of guilt. Because, I only think of myself, no one else but me. It's how it always was and always will be. Nothing can "save" me now. I pressed my finger against the hard button. Waited for the elevator to come down. It didn't want to come down for me, it dragged itself down from floor to floor. It moved too slow. I groaned.

Then after a long minute or two, I heard that familiar dink and the doors opened. I walked in. Pressed the button that would send me to my home.

I lay there for what seemed like hours, I was sweaty and wide awake. My breath fast and short. I was staring at the ceiling, mostly nude.

And finally someone noticed.

The door opened, "Hey, mom was wondering what you were doing―" I heard Dara's voice say. I looked at her. "Oh, my god‒ What the fuck are you doing?" she screamed, her nose flared and I swore her face reddened. I looked down at my self. "It's not what it looks like" I said, realizing that I must have looked like I was jacking off to her. If it was Thunder, he wouldn't have freaked. Girls tend to overreact. "Mom! Time to buy Seungri a lock on his damn door!" she shouted, she started calling my mother mom the first few months of us being with them. She accepted it so easily.

"I'm not jacking off!" I yelled to my mother and hoped she heard me, Dara let out a scoff as she slammed my door. I sighed, things were slowly becoming normal, like I'd accepted what had happened to me or something, or I was just ignoring it, pushing it aside. I wasn't planning on dealing with it, I wasn't going to let it eat at me.

I heard Thunder laugh at Dara and my mom, things were so simple for them. Like it always was. But not for me, not for Seungri. Things were just...complicated. But hey, that's high school for you. Or slavery. Which ever floats your boat.

I hadn't really looked at my tattoo yet, because I winced at the very thought of who made it. Or what happened that night, exactly five days ago. It wasn't so bad, it was okay. Was I some sick person to heal so fast from this? Not exactly heal but get better at it, get used to it. I mean nothing bad had happened to me so far, I was healthy...enough. My family members were still alive, I felt no pain anywhere. Other than the stiff sore feeling Seunghyun left five days ago. But that was going away, it was just a numb sting now. Nothing was actually hurting me. I stared at the tattoo, it was very detailed, and kind of beautiful. In a way.

Dara knocked this time.

"Phone call for you" she said, not bothering to look at me. I stood up, the blankets that rested on me fell to the floor, she face palmed her face. "Disgusting." she muttered, shoving the phone to my chest. I grabbed it and pressed the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" I said, expecting to hear Jiyong's voice. "Yo, are you showing or what?" I heard Seunghyun's voice. Apparently, Seunghyun was allowed to order me around, why hasn't anyone warned me about this. I fought back a smirk. I mean I didn't sign up for it so, I guess I had no right to ask what the rules were. "What time?" I asked, acted as if I had the conversation of my life, in front of Dara. Just to annoy her. She scowled at me. "Quit it before I tell mom you're gay" she threatened, raising her hand, ready to smack me. Back hand style.

I had to smile. "Eleven tonight" he said then the line went dead. I shrugged as I passed the phone to Dara, she leaned against the door frame. "So...about the party. Am I invited?" she asked, crossing her arms around her chest. I raised an eyebrow. "It ain't my party sis, so knock yourself out" I said, slightly pushing her so I could close the door. She let out an annoyed groan. I figured she stormed into the hallway or something. I let out a relieved breath as I sat down on my bed.

Now it was time to ask CL to the party.

Texting was going to be such a half ass thing to do but it was the appealing option. So I lay on my bed pressing the buttons to ask the question.

'Do you want to go to the party with me?'

Simple and easy, I told myself. I sent it.

'Did you shoot yourself in the head or something?' was the reply. I let out a bitter laugh. I wish, I wanted to say. I wished.

'Haha, no i just thought we should just go together.' I wrote, hoping it was enough to get her to agree with me. Her reply was simple. It was just a simple OK. I blinked. She agreed just like that, it was easy. Like a putting together a puzzle. It was sort of easy.

I tossed my phone onto my bed as I stood up. I decided to take a shower. I needed it. Because I had to impress CL, or something along those lines. I was about to get completely naked when I heard another knock on the door. I sighed as I went to go open the door. And I wasn't shocked or surprised by what I saw. I was expecting it...sort of. It was Dara and Jiyong, Jiyong grinned at me. Dara looked at me with disgust. "It's not any of your business." I said to her as I let Jiyong in. I closed the door.

"Well you look scrumptious" Said Jiyong, smiling at me with interest. I only stared at him. "What are you doing here?" I asked, panic visibly ran through me. He looked around my room, looking at the awards that I had gotten as a child. He looked at the view I got from the window. "I'm here to socialize with your family. I need to meet your younger brother. He seems...interesting." he said, smiling his evil smile at me. "I was about to take a shower." I said curtly. Secretly wanting him to leave. "Then take the shower" he smirked, walking towards me. I stood still. He pulled at the waist band of my shorts. "How about some fun first?" he smirked, kissing my jawline. I didn't move or say anything. "I've been thinking about you all day." he whispered into my ear, it sent shivers down my spine and blood pulsing through my body.

"Fuck you" I spat, he grinned. "I bet you want to." he said, his hand rubbing against my member. I got hard almost instantaneously. "Stop" I growled, slightly pushing him away. "You don't want me to stop." he said, warned. I notice he had a bag, some expensive designer shit or something. He placed it on my bed. "I have a lot of things here." he said, unzipping the mysterious bag. "...To cause pain, pleasure and a little bit of both" he smirked. I gulped. "No...G-get out of my home!" I tried to sound courageous but beneath my shitty mask I was scared. He slapped me across the face, I was shocked. I looked at him, narrowing my eyes at him. "Don't fucking tell me to get out." he said, pushing me into the bathroom.

"You better be careful of what you say from now on. I'm not feeling very nice anymore" he let out a dark chuckle. He punched me till I was on the floor. "How 'bout a nice collar for the dog" he spat as he tied the collar around my neck, tightening it. It was so tight I couldn't breathe properly. "There!" he exclaimed happily. "It would have been fun if Seunghyun was here" he said, slightly pouting. "Please Ji...Take it off" I whispered, my hands clutching at the collar. "It depends, do you want to play?" he said, smiling darkly at me.

"Fine. I'll play."

He took it off, like he agreed he would. He grabbed a fist full of my hair and pulled. He made he stand up. "Well fuck," he breathed into my ear. "You're adorable.". "Lock the door." I muttered, never looking away from his eyes. He shook his head, "Isn't it more exciting when someone could walk in? When you're family is in the other room, making dinner the one you're inviting me to." he whispered, rubbing my already hard member. No, I wanted to say. I bit my lip, preventing myself from moaning. "What's wrong Seungri?" he laughed. Yanking my shorts off so hard it burned. I hissed. I'd take the pain, I'd take anything anything Jiyong gave me, as long as it kept my family safe.

It happened fast as I let myself get lost in instinct. I yanked Jiyong's clothes the same way he did to mine, I learned that he liked it that way. I made sure I didn't rip his designer clothes. I bit his shoulder when he did something that hurt. I bit it hard, hard enough so that my mouth tasted metal.

And I liked it. I hated to admitted but I did.

I liked the way his lips trailed over my skin, licking the sensitive spots that I didn't know I had. For a moment we only stared at each other, a hand met my face sharply. I looked at Jiyong, and smiled. Because I liked it. I pushed him into the shower, being equally rough. He turned on the shower, I got in. The water was cold. He pressed his body against mine. "You're teasing" he said, I turned him harshly, making him slightly bend over. "What a view" I said, he let out a giddy giggle. I pressed my finger at the puckered entrance. He moved against me. I spat at my fingers, and ran my hand against the shaft of my member. I entered slowly, the tightness of him surrounded me, I swore I was going to cum right there. But I held back, I let out a moan. "Seungri, you're being too gentle" Jiyong complained, moving towards me. I grunted as I thrusted hard. He moaned. I began to thrust harder and faster. He started to pant.

The scent of his skin was the most addicting scent I've ever smelled. I kept thrusting into him as I kissed his neck. His moans were loud and they echoed against the walls of the bathroom. I kept my moans to a minimum because I was scared that my family was going to hear us.

"Fuck Seungri!" he moaned, his wet hair sticking against his face. I pushed the blond strands away from his face. He was too beautiful to have something covering his face. I let out a grunt as I released into him. He came on to the wall of the shower. He seemed breathless, "That was entertaining" he said, I pulled myself out of him. I got a grip on reality, I hoped that no one heard us. I felt sticky again, dirty, disgusting. He placed his arms around my neck, and bit my shoulder. I winced. "I've left my mark. Again" he grinned, I wanted to push him away and punch his face. I placed my hands at his sides, I squeezed hard, he let out a breathy moan. I bit at his collar bone, I wasn't being gentle, he slapped me. And I realized pain wasn't a bad thing to Jiyong. It was a good thing. For him. I didn't like it as such as him. I pushed him forward until his back was pressed against the wall. I turned the hot water on, time for my shower.

I towel dried my hair while Jiyong used the hairdryer. I sat at my bed, glancing at Jiyong's bag ever now and then. I was curious about what was in there. What could Jiyong have in his bag? But I didn't dare touch it. He came out of my bathroom, fully dressed and hair made. I looked down at myself, I hadn't given much thought about what to wear to his party. He stared at my chest. "Do you work out regularly?" he asked, I shook my head. "Not really. If you count Soccer as working out then yeah." I replied to his question. He smirked. He looked around, as if he was a judge at some pageant or something. "It's pretty decent. Where's your closet?" he asked, I pointed to the door next to the bathroom. He opened it.

"It's a walk in closet" he sounded surprised. "Having a business man for a step father has its perks" I said indifferently. "I'm surprised that you have some designer clothes." he said.

"Gifts from my sister and CL" I said, wondering if dinner was done. I stood up, and took some Pj's out of my dresser, I put them on. "I'm going to see if dinner is finished." I said to him, I could almost hear him nod. I went into the hallway, I closed my room door. "Mom?" I said, nervous. I walked into the living room. Dara was listening to music on her Ipod, very loudly. Thunder looked at me, his eyes wide. "Had fun?" he asked. He was shocked and somewhat amused. "You bi or something?" he asked, I swallowed, "I don't know," I answered, because I didn't know. I wasn't gay or anything. "I guess so." I muttered, he grinned at me. "Now that's just weird Hyung!" He laughed. I looked at Dara, she seemed annoyed. "Where's mom?" I asked him, changing the subject. "She went to the grocery store. Man if she heard you, I bet she would beat the crap outta you"

I let out a relieved sigh, at lease my mom didn't hear us. "You were very loud." He commented his eyes looking at my shoulder. "He bit you?" it sounded more like an accusation than a question. I narrowed my eyes at him, "You are one noisy brat!" I said as I nudged his side. He let out a bark of a laugh. I rolled my eyes as I walked back to my room. I opened the door, relieved to see that Jiyong hadn't made a mess.

"Wear this," he said, passing me a shirt that I hadn't seen since I opened it from Christmas. I put it on, he tossed a pair of pants, worn out jeans that matched with my shirt. Pants that I found tacky. He gave me a blazer, something I usually wore to dates. He eyed me, as if he wanted to memorize every detail of my outfit. "There." he muttered, to himself probably.

"Can we go to the living room?" he asked, translation: Let's go to the living room. "Sure" I said, walking out of my room. He followed close behind, stepping on my shadow. We entered the living room. I yawned, scratching my head. Dara visibly tensed.

Thunder looked at Jiyong and smiled politely, "Hello" he said, Jiyong's eyes were bright with delight. He had taken an interest in my brother. "Hello...?". "Sanghyun, you can call me Chundoong, or Doong if you'd like," said Thunder, smiling happily at Jiyong. "I'm Jiyong." he said, faking a kind smile.

We sat there in awkward silence while Jiyong was eyeing Thunder, until my mom came. We stood up as my mom went into the kitchen to get the food ready. "Don't eat" Jiyong whispered into my ear. I glanced at him, and nodded once.

"Mom, I'm not feeling very hungry. I'm going to leave" I said, not looking at her. "Hmm, alright." she answered.

Dara looked at Jiyong and tried to smiled at him. But he smiled back anyway. "Can I come to your party?" she asked, placing her hand on her hip. He looked at her up and down and licked his lips. "Sure." he said, smirked. Dara's jaw fell, she composed herself, and smiled at him. "See you there." she said to us, walking towards her room. I raised my eyes at Jiyong. He smirked. "Jealous?" he whispered, walking towards the door. I shook my head as I walked towards him.

A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner~ I was away from home for two weeks. And it takes a lot of imagination(for me) to visualize rated scenes. O.O I was literally blushing while I was writing this. XD. Thanks for leaving comments, they've motivated me to finish this chapter. Leave more? :)


	4. Chapter 4

It wasn't that I was jealous that he was flirting with my sister, I was just protective over her, ever since Taeyang dumped her for Bom she's been like that. All grumpy and sick of everything. And yet she still hung out with them. I was so deep in my thoughts I hadn't realized that I was in elevator with a rose in my hand, Jiyong's words were ringing in my head. He told me exactly what to do to make CL like me as a man, not as a friend but I didn't take them seriously. I walked down the hallway, to CL's apartment.

She smiled when she saw me, all dressed up. She wore a short black dress with crazy tall heels. Her hair was let down, slightly wavey. "We match," she said, eyeing my outfit. I smiled. "We do." I said, giving her the rose, she smelled it. "That's sweet of you" She smiled, I held my hand out to her, she grabbed it. We left our building, we decided to take her car to the party.

The party house, or whatever you wanna call it had a weird thing about it. It looked creepy, and kind of like a haunted house. "Omg, this place is awesome!" CL said excitedly, I gulped. I parked the car and turned it off. I got out of the car. I wondered if this was the place where Jiyong tortured me, that night had been a blurry memory, like it was something I made up in my head. "Is there something wrong?" CL asked, placing her hand on my arm, I looked at her and smiled. "I'm fine" I mumbled, I pulled her toward the house, I was feeling kind of fidgety. Like I knew something bad was going to happen and I was somewhat excited for it. "Let's go inside" I said a little too cheerfully. She shook her head, and walked into the house, you could feel the bass from the music even when you were outside. I walked into the house and the music was loud. First person I saw was Seunghyun, he was talking to a few cute girls. I almost rolled my eyes. "I'm going to get us some drinks" CL said, probably to avoid people from asking why we were together like this. I wandered toward the living room, where people seemed to be.

"hey" A whisper in my ear, I almost screamed. I quickly turned around to see who it was. It was Jiyong. He smiled. I eyed him suspiciously, he was slowly swaying side to side, a smile on his face. He wore tight black jeans that hugged his body, and a matching top. His blonde hair was perfectly messy. He wore eyeliner. He came closer, I smelled that sweet honey smell coming off of him.

He placed his arm around my neck and gentally pulled, he seemed to be dazed. He placed his lips on my earlobes, and gentally bit them. "h-hey" I breathed out, looking around to see if people were staring. Luckily no one noticed. "I want you..." he said, and kissed the sensitive spot below my ear. "Ji...CL...coming this way" I managed to say, he pulled away. And smiled at the cl.

"Ah Jiyong! Cool party!" she smiled. And probably pretending she didn't see that. Jiyong smiled at her, "Thanks" he muttered, CL passed me a glass with clear liquids in it. "I didn't know what you wanted.." she mumbled, almost shyly. "It's okay" I smiled, placing my arm around her shoulders, like I did so many times before, but only this time it was different. This time I was going to make her like me. She slipped her arm around my waist, and stared down. I took a sip from the drink, it was strong.

A few hours passed and I could tell that CL was getting drunk, she kept talking about things she wouldn't normally tell anyone, Jiyong was laughing with her. And I just watched and sipped my drink. I was leaning against the balcony, Jiyong was having a cigarette. I grabbed her arm and gentally pulled her toward me, Jiyong smiled. He was getting what he wanted. She pressed her back against me, I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder, Jiyong continued their conversation. I pressed my lips on her shoulder. She leaned closer. "I didn't know what to do when she kissed me.." Cl continued, Jiyong grinned and moved closer. "You smoke weed?" Jiyong asked, taking a joint out of his cigarette pack. CL slighly turned to look at me, "let's smoke" I said grabbing the joint out of Jiyong's hands, his eyes shot up at me, he didn't like that. I placed it on her lip. Jiyong took out his lighter and lit it. She inhaled the smoke, "I haven't smoked in ages..." she said as she blew the smoke out, coughing a little, she placed it on my lip, I took a big puff and held it in. Jiyong grabbed her wrist hand held it so that he could have a puff. I let out the smoke. As Jiyong took a puff he looked up at CL and held her gaze, his eyes were filled with lust, even I could feel them. And then, the words just rolled off of CL's tongue "Let's go to a more private place..." She gripped my hand and Jiyong's, Jiyong led the way. We walked back into the big house and walked upstairs where it was isolated. Jiyong walked into the first room.

Jiyong threw off his jacket and sat down on the bed, he crossed his legs. And smiled a seductive smile. I couldn't bring myself to look at CL, I looked away as Jiyong got up and leaned in and kissed her. CL brought her hand to my face, and caressed. I looked at her face. She had an almost sad look in her eyes. I grabbed her waist and pulled her toward me, and roughly pressed my lips on hers, I gentally nipped on her bottom lip. She let out a soft whimper. I pulled away too look at her, she stared at me through half lidded eyes. She bit her bottom lip, and I furrowed my eyes. I felt my world tumble, this was wrong. She was my bestfriend but I loved her.

I pushed her onto the bed, and climbed ontop of her slim body, her breathing picked up, the look in her eyes screamed no. I pushed the bottom of her dress up and messaged her thigh. She moaned, and gave me a seductive look. "That's right Seungri...she's all yours" A whisper came frome behind, I pushed her dress upward, and saw that she wasn't wearing any underwear. I glanced at her, she blushed and looked away.

There's all this squirming, and squealing...when you're done you realize she's crying. I let out a sigh as I watched her forming into a ball on the bed. I sat up and stared down, somewhere in the middle of us having sex Jiyong disappeared.

"I'm sorry." I said after a while of just listening to her crying. She didn't move, her body was facing the other direction. I moved toward her and pulled her into my arms, she looked at me. Her eyes were puffy and red. "I feel disgusting" she said, wrapping her arms around me. She cried against my chest. I felt like shit, and all of this was my fault. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you" I heard myself say, the words rolled out. I held her closely. "I love you" I whispered.

I drove out of the parking lot of the house party, she wrapped my jacket around her body. "Are you cold?" I asked, ready to turn off the air conditioner. "No," she said, she stopped crying for the moment. I didn't know if she was going to cry some more.

We drove in silence to our apartment building. "Can I sleep over?" she asked, staring ahead. I could tell she was still drunk. "Sure" I said, not wanting her to cry, or to go home.

I unlocked the door to my home, the TV was still on but no one seemed to be watching it. I walked over to see if anyone was on the couch, it was Cheondoong. He was sleeping silently. I shook my head, CL stood by the door as if she was a stranger, she came over loads of times before. "Come in" I said to her. She stumbled towards me, I caught her. "Sorry" she muttered. We walked toward the hallway; we went into my room.

I opened my door and entered the dark room. "it's so cold" CL mumbled, walking to my bed. She sat down, taking off her heels. "Do you want pajamas?" I asked, feeling awkward. "mhmm" she purred, collapsing on my bed. She pulled off her dress, practically naked. I got her boxers and v-neck shirt. She pulled the shirt over herself and pulled up the boxers. I took off my clothes, leaving my boxers on. I climbed on my bed beside her. She snuggled into my chest and fell asleep within minutes.

This was weird. Our friendship would never be the same. I fell asleep.

A/N: This is a terrible chapter. I Apologize for not updating. I am so sorry. :( I have been busy like crazy, Job and school are bitches. I will try to update more often. I'm trying to refresh my memory for this story, I have the main ideas. Feedback? :)


End file.
